Hey Parents!
As a dad and U10 football coach, one thing I’ve been learning lately is the value of listening before jumping in with advice. It’s not always easy, my instinct is to fix things right away, whether it’s after a tough game or when my kids are upset at home. But I’m realizing more and more that what they need most isn’t a solution right off the bat. What they need first is someone to hear them out.

On the football field, I’ve found that letting the kids talk about how they felt during a match helps them process the experience better. Instead of immediately pointing out what went right or wrong, just listening to their perspective opens the door to more meaningful conversations later. It’s similar at home. When my kids are upset, taking the time to really listen to them before offering advice often makes a bigger impact than jumping in with a quick fix.

I’m still figuring this out, but the more I focus on listening, the more I see it building trust. It creates a space where they feel heard and supported, which makes it easier for them to open up about their feelings, whether it’s about a game, school, or something else.

I don’t have all the answers, but I’m learning that sometimes, it’s not about solving the problem right away. It’s about being there, fully present, and letting them know you’re really listening. This small shift can make a big difference in how they feel, both emotionally and as young players on the field.

I follow these 3 simple rules for listening:

1. Ask before advising: When your child or player is upset, resist the urge to offer advice immediately. Start by asking questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think went wrong?” By opening up the conversation this way, you allow them to reflect and express themselves before jumping to conclusions.
2. Give them your full attention: Whether at home or on the pitch, show them that you’re truly listening by giving them your undivided attention. Put your phone down, make eye contact, and avoid distractions. This lets them know that what they’re saying matters and encourages them to share more.
3. Validate their feelings: Sometimes, all kids need is to feel understood. You don’t always have to agree with their perspective, but acknowledging their feelings—“I can see why that upset you” or “That must have been frustrating”—helps them feel heard. Validation fosters trust and makes them more likely to open up in the future.

See you next wednesday

Marco, Paternaut